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For my father and mother who were there in my beginning and
as for my husband who had better be there in the end, baby! |
Life blisters by at mach speed. Reunion is but a splinter of an eternal moment
away…
If this is the essence of all things that I hold dear
just as trusting in a divine plan, then why did I wake up in a sweat at 4 in the morning?
Earth to Ana..what about?
“Feed your fears and your faith will starve.
Feed your faith, and your fears will.” MLucado
Earlier in the day the post brought us some mail directly from Uncle Sam's very own office of Social Security describing future retirement benefits for my husband. In hand, I began to peruse actuarial predictions as to what moneys we could count on, for how long and when. Retirement can be a beautiful event!
I carefully digested all the pages until I came to the overview of his profile! Screech,choke and halt! All of it; just all of it caught my attention. Just as I glanced over the predicted date of retirement, my eyes landed on the tarmac of terror: the last entry read: predicted date of life expectancy. Tony's stochastic model stated that he had a latently enthusiastic 26 more years to live. Gulp! This disturbing piece of news only came to grip me hours later to the tune of this reflection 'matutina'. It just didn't sound like much time and later I toyed with the numbers and decided not to arithmetically visit every depressing detail. Typically, we don't meander over these types of projections over dinner or friendly cocktail banter. If I recall, the last time I calculated age, I was ten and I projected that I would be 40 in the year 2000. Those calculations are non-threatening - still. These figures added up to fighting words.
Conversation: Joe and Stan.
-Hi, Joe! Just got my papers from Uncle Sam. When are you done with this place? 15 more years, Stan.
-Great Joe, I am right behind you. Say hello to the wife. I will Stan. Try to swing by soon, her clock is up before ours! Take Care! See you in eternity.
After processing and reviewing potential future earnings, I submit: "This one is for you Uncle!" Say what you will, but I plan to hang on like a lifeline to scripture. Mark 13: “But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in
heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."
Take that Uncle Sam! ...For a moment, I was infected with a hearty dose of Medicare Creepers. We will take the money and discard the statistics, thank you very much.
I had a glass of soy and walked back to bed. I puffed up my pillows and grabbed onto my husband's hand until morning. I will take it... 26 years...maybe more or even less, but I will take it and I will love every moment of it.
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